Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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Jesus wept.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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LOL -LOL GUY

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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YOLO

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Politics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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