God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

Libraries.

How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

Rebecca Black's new album.

Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

i like pie

A black guy gets arrested...

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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