what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? Justin is attracted to the female gender

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Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

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A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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