What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

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why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

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Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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