An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

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why did the homosexual man cross the road? to get to his gay partner.

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WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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what did john boner say to the hor that was jewing his laundry want to sex my motherss twat?

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

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Women's Rights.

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Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock? Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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