THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, because he is an orphan.

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A man is riding down the road on his horse, Sally. He happens to see a horse without a rider, but with two saddles. He finds this peculiar, continues into town, and has a fine day.

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bangers and mash?

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What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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how do you get all the people in ireland out of their homes? roll a potato down the road. how do you find the richest person in ireland? you find the one who got the patato

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? A good example of friendly competition.

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why couldnt the guy move his legs cuz he was paralyzed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops