why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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bangers and mash?

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A man is riding down the road on his horse, Sally. He happens to see a horse without a rider, but with two saddles. He finds this peculiar, continues into town, and has a fine day.

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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