Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Delaware? A coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q) A black man and a white man are playing a basketball game, who will win? A) The one who scores the most points.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Bitch! Love, J.B.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you ever noticed how those little packets of sweetner are really handy to have around when you like your coffee to be sweeter than its default bitterness?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What'd the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? New shoes and some gloves

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

thumb_up thumb_down

The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

thumb_up thumb_down

The Princess is in another castle

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

thumb_up thumb_down

Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops