Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Women's rights...

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Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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Arrow in the Knee!

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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What did Robert Kardashian say at O.J.'s most recent trial? Nothing. He died of esophagal cancer

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Obama.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

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Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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