Three women are seen walking while having ice cream. One of them is licking the ice cream. Another is sucking the ice cream, and the other one is biting the ice cream. One of these women is married. Which one is married? The one that has a wedding ring on her finger.

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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What kind of bee's make milk? Booobies!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? The police, your family were killed in a bakery A German bakery.

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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Is your refridgerator running? because if its not, you should probably have it looked at by a repair man,

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How do u kill somebody You throw a fridge at him

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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There is a bus full of puppies and babies with a plane flying above it carrying 2 tons of explosives. The Bus arrives safely at its destination.

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the midget went to the midget store

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Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

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Q:what is the most annoying word that means nothing? A:every word has a meaning your question is invalid. ~Phish <3

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If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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Q: Whats worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops