69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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heat!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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boo

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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what did the old lady die of old age...

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops