A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

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A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

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Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

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Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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A Black man walks into a bar. He then has a drink of Alcohol and walks home to return to his family.

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What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

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Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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a group of teenagers are laughing at a boy around their age when on says "youre stupid" the boy then replies "i prefer the term Autistic"

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what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? The one from the farm across the street. Can Randy come play outside?

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Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

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what is the difference between batman and a black guy. bat man is white

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What does karissas vagina taste like? Ask vantwon

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you call 4 black men in a BMW? Successful Businessmen.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who is it? Wood pecker. Wood pecker who? KNOCK! KNOCK!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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