What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

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Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

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Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because if you subtract 6 from 7 only one would survive.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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What do you call a man who interru- SHUT UP!

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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What's two plus two? Window

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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Lil Wayne

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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