What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -30

a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops