Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

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So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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dylan hodge wishes he could suck his own **** jokes thats what his mothers for

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? The show already had several minority characters, and the producers felt that the addition of a Hispanic actor or actress would have added nothing of value to the series.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

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A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

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Q.whats the weirdest thing??????? A.woman leaders

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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