a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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Women's Rights

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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elliot forsythe is a paedo

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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GONNA

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The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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