Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

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Hail Heetluh

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You're a frog

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? Jenga games regularly don't kill around 3000 people.

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women sports....

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Whats better at driving? A pig or a chicken. Neither because they are animals and it is impossible for the to even posses the power of controlling a moving vehicle.

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I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

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Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

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why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

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What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

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Q.why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A. because he was dead.

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops