Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long

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A man walks into a bar gets hurt and falls over

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A serial killer walks into a bar... He is finally arrested after killing several people within the bar, goes to court, and it was decided that he is suffering from a rare case of maddening schizophrenia, and sent indefinitely to a mental hospital...

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What's Blue and tastes like orange cake? A blue cake.

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An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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