Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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