What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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The EPA.

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

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Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? a stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

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Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

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whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

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Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

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what porn does a nugget watch nugget porn.

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

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a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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