elliot forsythe is a paedo

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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hi.... bonjour... hola... DOOO YOUUUU UNDERSTANDDD MEEE !!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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a

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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