Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

why did the monkey fall dead out of the tree? because edward cullen raped it up the arse sooo many times it died from internal bleeding.

A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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