What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

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UP

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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penis?

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Steve is 12. He has a friend named Gary. Later in his life steve will realize that he is gay and will fall for a man also named Gary. Gary and steve will be together forever. Until steves friend gary goes insane because this man has stollen his name and go and kill the other gary. The end.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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women's rights

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

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Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder from your house and kindly help him down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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