What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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