Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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Why did the blonde blow up? She ate a bomb.

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What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

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thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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YOLO You only like Oreos

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Where's my tractor?

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watch me nae nae

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why does my ass hurt? you have rectal cancer

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "...no..?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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