How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

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bees knees

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Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

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The Pittsburgh Pirates

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

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Yo mama looks so much like a cardboard box, my kindergarten class graduated.

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When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

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What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? hypothermia.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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Andrew's a bald wankstain.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops