How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

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Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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