What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

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A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops