so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock. come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Wanna know something funny? Your face

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than some one spitting in your food Hitler revealing he's actually a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Our experimental treatment for Anterograde amnesia has failed. I will inform your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops