Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down

Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

._____________________. Whale!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the fridge cross the road? Because Sally has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does two plus two equal? 4

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anything involving women..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops