When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

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How do you save a black man from drowning? I don't know GOOD!

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hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

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Elizabeth Warren

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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

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What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

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What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

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Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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No thank you, I don't like violence

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

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What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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