Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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whats black and white? a zebra

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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