Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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Vicky is my best friend.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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kieran scott has a huge back

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whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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Justin's humor

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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