Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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Why Do Black Men Like Koolaid Because its red

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You copy and paster!

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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