How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

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You see how lame this is?

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

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What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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http://richardfigures.com/

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Q.whats long, black and hard to cut through? A.a line at kfc!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

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Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

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What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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A ginger was with his friends

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i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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