Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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elen degeneres is straight....

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

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Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

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Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

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Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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???????????? ???????????? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? A wild EXEGGUTOR appeared!

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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