What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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