What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

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my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

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3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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Your mom.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house. A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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