What's the difference Justin Bieber and a Dic* the Dic*

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women's rights

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

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How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

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What Do You Call Black People Skydiving? A fun time.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

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I'll be back. Please use the door.

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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What starts with P and ends with orn? Porn

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

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Once upon the time.... It was 12 o´clock

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Ok, I have a knock knock joke for ya.......you start.

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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