Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

hi

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

Womens rights !

Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

My thanks to those that thumb down my comment below, you have the possibilty to become one of my over 100.000.000 members, as long as you follow your heart, your own will, we got you covered. We got over 600.000 never members since last year, you are far from alone, thumb this comment up, leave a small comment, and I shall send one of my shadows to tell you more, or online if you prefer that, but then I would need your email address... ...As for your home address? Nah, already know it just let me know if you want a visit, but during my 6000 years on earth or so, I have yet to evolve to the point where I fully understand the full nature of computers, they are very recent to me. Yet only those that are willing to follow their hearts and enact their true hidden desires without shame, guilt, remorse, but instead with love and gusto, will find the answers among us. Soon my wings shall spread, and just like that, the world is ours! Moral: "Fuck Morals, would you believe me if I said they where in code? No they are not, the secrets are only within the shadows, and the Black Angel. Nero.

Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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