Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

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How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

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Lets Go Lakers!

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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what tall and looks like a jew?

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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