Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Your Mom

Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

Why was the gay guy sad?

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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