What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Bob fell off his roof.

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Penis.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Why is your face? Because.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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Mexicans are like waffles

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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