HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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Get in the car.

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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You copy and paster!

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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