Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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Q: What did the student say to the teacher? A: The answer is four.

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

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trumpy trumpy trump

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Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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Black people

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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