What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

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I'll be back. Please use the door.

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

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I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

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Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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What's black and fun to hang from trees? Tire swings.

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If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why John isn't smiling? Becouse he died yesterday

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Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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Tell you something funny.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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Ok, I have a knock knock joke for ya.......you start.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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