Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese! Anti Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Sally's Cheese

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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Cleveland winning something

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Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

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A person expresses their opinion online. Another person thanks them for sharing their opinion but kindly disagrees, then he wishes the other person to have a good day.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Anal

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What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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whats purple and savage? Barney!

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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what's 2 + 2? i don't know that's why i'm asking you

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How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

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Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

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why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

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hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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