Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

thumb_up thumb_down -180

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +175

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

obamas trench

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

thumb_up thumb_down -71

What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What never seems to get old? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Justin Bieber walks into a Gay-Bar. He is then kindly escorted out because he is underage. Also, because the patrons gave him certain looks that brought concern to the heterosexual bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops