what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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