How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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I just met you! And this is crazy! I just took bath salts, and yor face looks tasty!

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what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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what did the police do when they saw an arab running towards a building? Watched him run by because he was probably late for something

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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Q: Whats the difference between a friend and a bestfriend? A: The other one has best in front of it dumb A$$

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Whats the difference between a Black man and a White man Skin color and possibly many other things because that is reasonable and normal.

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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Women's rights.

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whats a dick a dick

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Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

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Where did the little girl go when the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Roses are red, bikers are blur.....I love you ( drunk texting )

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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